Isabella had a vivid life, full of color, design, and fashion. Even at age 90, she was very concerned about her daily fashion style and had a quick tongue for anyone who tried to put her in clothing she called “dumpy and dowdy.” She knew her mind about fashion and even as age took its toll on her ability to cut her own fabric and use her sewing machine, she longed for a way to enjoy her favorite pastime.
When her family asked me to meet with her about her care needs, they warned me it would be a challenge and that she may be tough on me. They suggested that I pay special attention to my fashion sense if I wanted to “get in good with her.”
When I met her, I was immediately drawn to her, and we connected quickly. She focused on my laptop bag and immediately noticed it was a well-known fashion brand. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I purchased it at the outlet mall for 80% off the last sale price. Even worse for any fashionista is that I bought it because it was a good fit for what I needed and was very practical for all the things that I carry with me each day.
We connected quickly and she said she didn’t understand why her family thought I should be involved in her life; she could handle her own business. I acknowledged her ability and respected her concerns. We talked about what was currently happening in her life. Her family had just found out that she had fallen for a common scam when someone from “Medicare” called her on the phone and told her there was a problem with the billing for her recent physician’s visit. She had previous billing issues, so their story seemed quite reasonable to her, and she made the mistake of sharing her social security number and date of birth and now some identity issues were occurring. They were worried about her. I told her how even I had almost fallen for a scam at one point but one thing they said didn’t set right with me, but I was very close to believing them. I repeated that they preyed on her, and it was not her fault, they were criminals and she was a victim. She liked my approach and said her family had not been so understanding. I talked with her about some of the options of ways to protect her and she was interested.
From there, we expanded our time with her. She had a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment, and it was clear that she was having some issues, and our goal was to keep her at home and independent to live life according to her wishes, so we set up some in-home assistance and delivery services to take the pressure off her that she felt for having to go get groceries and run errands. Her caregivers were specifically chosen for their ability to help her live the life she wanted to live and to help keep her safe.
She had no shortage of fashion knowledge to share with her caregivers and she especially loved Rosy, who would help her dress in her favorite pieces each morning. Rosy really understood her and could handle her occasional sharp tongue.
If you have an aging family member who needs to live their life on their own terms and you want a care manager who can help them, please reach out to us to discuss your concerns. We are experts at honoring our clients’ wishes while also maintaining their safety.
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