Sarah loved her mother, Helen, fiercely. Yet, as Helen aged, Sarah became the sole person responsible for managing her increasing needs. From doctor’s appointments to grocery runs, Sarah’s life started to revolve around providing care. “I’m fine,” Helen would insist, “No need for all this fuss.” However, Sarah saw how isolated her mother was becoming, how tasks that were once simple now caused frustration. A gnawing guilt settled deep inside Sarah – guilt that she couldn’t always be there, and guilt that she resented the sacrifices she was making.
Reaching the breaking point was a slow process. Sarah noticed her own short temper, the snapping at her children and her husband, the tears of exhaustion she often hid. Even when her brother offered to take Helen for a weekend visit, Sarah hesitated – what if something happened? The idea of enlisting outside help felt like a failure, an admission that she couldn’t handle it.
Finally, a close friend suggested she reach out to our team of Aging Life Care Managers®. It was the first step towards acknowledging she couldn’t do this alone. This was a revelation for her. We listened intently as Sarah recounted her struggles, never once making her feel judged. We normalized the complex mix of emotions – love, duty, weariness, and even flashes of resentment. It is important to us that caregivers know they are not alone.
Together, we explored options Sarah hadn’t considered: adult day programs that could provide Helen with socialization, meal assistance services that would alleviate Sarah’s daily errands, or even a short-term respite stay at a care facility for much-needed rest. When Sarah understood that these options were about supporting Helen, not replacing her, a wave of relief washed over her.
The guilt hasn’t vanished entirely. Sarah still worries and feels pangs of unease when she’s away from her mother. However, a weight has been lifted. Helen is beginning to interact with others, easing her isolation. And more importantly, Sarah is beginning to care for herself again, knowing that she is still a devoted daughter while no longer shouldering the burden alone.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, overwhelmed and exhausted by caregiving, know that it’s okay to ask for help. Our care managers understand the challenges you face. We offer emotional support, practical solutions, and help navigate options you may not even know exist. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s empowering yourself and your loved one to receive the best possible care.
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